Both/And. My Emotional Intelligence (EQ) isn’t just for me. It’s also for my team members. When my EQ improves, I get the remarkable benefits of a recalibrated nervous system and the mental margin to reinterpret my experiences. I want that for myself.

But if my understanding of EQ only tells a story about the benefits to me, then I will never contribute to culture improvement.

Yes, I cultivate EQ for my own immediate benefit. Then, I use it to create an environment for my coworkers that brings their EQ into professional dialogue so that our collaborative decision-making includes all the necessary information.

Yes, emotions are necessary information because emotions shape interpretation and decision-making

Person 1: “Let’s take a moment to check in. I accept that this situation needs an immediate response, but I’m anxious about the impact it’s going to have on my workflow.”

Person 2: “I’m committed to being helpful, but I’m also feeling angry right now; I’d rather go punch my locker than go back into that room.”

Person 1: “No problem. How can I support you? I can ask Natasha to be my second.”

Person 2: “I want to do it. Can you give me 5 minutes to process this adrenaline dump? I’ll meet you outside the room.”

Person 1: I’ll update the Charge Nurse and see if she could give my patient in 432 his lisinopril. See you in 5.

EQ isn’t just a useful tool for individuals. It’s a way of doing work as a team.

In this dialogue, both parties know the fastest way to an effective solution is to begin with a more centered emotional state⏤a reset neurological system. We accomplish this through non-judgemental identification and acknowledgment of the primary emotions involved.

Not everyone is ready for this. We still have people in healthcare who are unwilling to engage in cultivating their own EQ. Which is why the conversation still centers on using EQ for individual benefit.

Find one ally. Make an agreement about how you will weave EQ into your collaboration. As you get better at it, bring another coworker into your circle.

If we wait until everyone is ready for collaborative EQ, culture shift will take much longer. There is no better way to convince an EQ skeptic about EQ utility than to create a professional EQ Circle.