I can want anything, for myself. I am the only one on the planet with the authority to decide what I want and choose to pursue it. I alone have that power.

I have no right to exercise that same commitment for someone else. My contribution to the well-being of others comes in the form of context, of creating conditions in the relationship (i.e., culture) that supports their vertical development and emotional maturity.

Do I regard them as capable? As powerful?

Or do I believe my presence in their life is a magical key that unlocks their future for them?

Do they “need” me? Or does our community need them to function at their highest potential?

One of these perspectives is the way of a coach, the other is the way of the rescuer. One supports healthy relationships (culture). The other produces resentment and fuels drama.