Bullying is a question. With every insult, patronizing comment, undermining accusation, and inappropriate request, the bully is asking questions about power, boundaries, respect, and value.
Even though there is much to say about the bully’s woundedness and insecurity, the impact of a bully is too destructive to empower it through passivity or defensiveness. When we allow a bully to set the tone for a relationship, we must acknowledge that we’re also allowing it to take root in the culture.
The bully’s questions can be answered through passive acquiescence, defensiveness, or confident stability.
How we answer the bully’s question tells a story about who we believe we are.
How I answer the bully’s questions loudly declares who I believe I am.