Whenever we speak about the yes/and, collaboration vs compromise, what we’re really talking about is polarity management. The ability to acknowledge the opposing forces that naturally exist and must both be addressed in the solution crafting.

• Stability vs Flexibility
• Task vs Relationship
• Candor vs Diplomacy
• Challenge vs Support
• Decisiveness vs Thoughtfulness
• Responsibility vs Freedom
• Expansion vs Consolidation

Whichever side of the relationship we find ourselves on, we have an entire worldview that supports our position. If we begin entertaining ideas that move us toward the other side we begin to feel tension.

That place of tension, that’s the learning edge. And here’s why it’s important to think of it in terms of learning and not in terms of “losing yourself”, because when we talk of polarities, we’re not talking about good and bad, we’re talking about two different kinds of good. So moving toward one or the other isn’t dangerous, it’s growth. It’s our growth edge. It’s the vantage point from which we start to see with a new set of eyes and begin becoming the change we envision.